It becomes ever more apparent on our farming journey that you're not in it alone, yet it can feel like the most isolating career on earth.
The farm Gary works on is essentially a 2 man operation. He works with my housemate, James, and together they take care of the day to day running of the farm, with the odd help from other farmers at harvest and when silage making. But whilst Gary might not see another person for a few hours at a time during the day, he's always on the phone!
Gary seems to constantly be chatting. He speaks to Mark, our transporter. Chats to Bob, his old friend who got him into farming. Puts the world to right with Neil, a neighbouring farmer, and is on the phone so often that I wonder how he actually gets any work done.
But what is the alternative? Potentially its being sat in a tractor for 5 hours a day with only you and your own thoughts.
My working day is quite a different story at the moment. At the start of the pandemic our company moved every body to remote working from home. And whilst I have the dogs for company, they have an extraordinary napping ability and so I genuinely can spend a good few hours with nobody to talk to.
Its been quite debilitating these last few months. Staying motivated is hard, and once my working day is done, there's still sheep to check, horses to look after, dogs to walk, pigs to feed. It can feel relentless, and even more so when the nights are long and the weather is crap. I don't like to moan about it because I know full well there are hundreds of other people like myself that are working just as hard, and most likely harder and more hours.
However, the farming community is far reaching and its almost like when you need it, there's this umbrella that protects you from the downpours. Borrowing trailers, rounding up stock, helping with a sick animal; just a handful of scenarios in which we have helped others and ourselves been helped. And there is never a tally or a list of who has helped who and how many times. You know that somewhere down the line you can return a good deed.
Earlier in the year, a friend of ours suffered a dog attack. They lost a lamb that their little boy had reared and was hoping to breed from in the future. It broke my heart. A livestock attack is something I fear on a regular basis and that's a big reality for many farmers with livestock. My immediate thought was "how can we help them". I knew I had 5 bottle lambs, 3 of which had just been weaned. And I knew the ideal girl. She'd been rejected by her mum and was a stunning girl with a sweet nature. I phoned Gary and the conversation went along the lines of:
Zoe: "Hey, did you hear about the dog attack"
Gary: "Yer, they lost a lamb, the little boys lamb"
Zoe: "I know. Bloody awful. But I was thinking....."
Gary: "....about offering them one of the orphans?"
Zoe: "Number 8?"
Gary: "Yes, that's what I thought"
The next day they took Annie home. And whilst we didn't "help" in any physical way, hopefully it softened the blow a little from such a horrible experience. I guess its just that unspoken feeling of not wanting to see another person in such a similar situation to yourselves suffering.
So not only are we dealing with the stress of the day to day running of our farms, were also contending with the anxiety of losing stock, farm thefts, dog attacks and general rural crime. Mental health, or rather ill health, is long running on my side of the family. I always try and be aware of the people around me and my impact on them. I don't want to be a burden or ask for help, yet would be most annoyed if someone didn't ask me for help when they needed it. Maybe I should look at it from the point of view that one of our friends might feel the same. In asking for their assistance, they might feel comfortable enough to ask us for some help in return. Of course we would say yes! They wouldn't even need to question whether we would be happy to help or not.
I love the Grassmen clothing campaign of "Now Were Talking", addressing the issue of mental health within farming. Its ok to not be ok. And my take on that is that sometimes all we need is a chat. It can be so hard to open up to someone and tell them you have a problem or you're feeling down. But, in its simplest form, pick up the phone and have a 5 minute chat. Just talk. About the weather. About your sheep. About the fact you're gutted your best cow was empty when you scanned this year. We're all allowed to be upset and shouldn't feel guilty or think that we have to be "macho" 24/7. Its not healthy or sustainable.
All these people we speak to are our farming family, our farmily. If we cant help our family out when they're in need, then we don't have a lot of hope.
So, for every person that is in our farmily, we've got your backs and we're only a phone call away.
Keep well guys,
Zoe xx
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